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Thursday, February 13, 2014

Happy Gal-entine's and Valentine's Day: You Will Survive It

According to Buzzfeed, today, February 13th is "Galentine's" Day aka a day to celebrate your best gals (made famous on an episode of Parks and Recreation).  

However, I also found some sources that say February 14th is "Galentine's Day" for single gals.  Since it's 10:30 pm on a work night and I just figured out this was an actual day, I'm going to celebrate it tomorrow.  Heck, that's what I was going to do anyway. 

What did you expect though?!  If you read my website (which it looks like you do) you'd know that I just got done with my dating detox in the beginning of February.  I don't want to move that fast into dating again.  Yes, I've potentially been on a date or two (ahem), but no one special enough yet to celebrate the romantical cheesiness that is Valentine's Day.

I'm excited to spend Valentine's Day/Galentine's Day...err...a typical Friday...with my girls.  And not only are my girlfriends my Valentines, but I also chose this strong and smooth thing to be my Valentine.   

Have you met my friend Mark?

I made this on publisher.  It took me longer to put together than this entire post.
"You want to know why you're single..."  LOL!

Thursday, February 6, 2014

The End of My Dating Detox: Time to GROW

I finished my dating detox!  Woohoo.  The end of it was pretty anti-climactic.  I do feel refreshed and ready to date again.  I may or may not have already gone out on one (not telling!). Though I'm ready to start dating again, I've learned some things about myself and what I like and don't like.  See below. 

Things I've Learned:

-I'm over going on dates with people I know I'm only "so-so" about.  My gut is almost always correct about people.  In addition to that, I have never become attracted to someone I was not initially attracted to.  I might become more fond and care more about that person, but I don't want to date them.

-I'm over ignoring red flags.  If it's the very beginning and I've seen a red flag, deal-breaker, or am being treated poorly, I. Am. DONE.  I realized I give a lot of chances to people who don't necessary deserve them.  It ends up panning out as I initially suspected.

-I'm over giving immature guys a chance.  I used to only date older, but a year or so ago I thought maybe I'm missing out on people because I'm judging based on age.  I was wrong.  Every single younger guy who I've dated has ended up being a little immature (I'm talking my age to a couple yrs younger--not barely legal) .  They might have come off as confident and even professionally "mature", however, once I got to know them better I started to feel like I was dating frat boys.  Which was great...in college. (If any of you are reading this...I think you're awesome.)

That's pretty much all I've learned.  I'm done writing about dating for a little bit.  I'll have to get inspired by some other funny business so you have some new material.  If you have any requests let me know in the comments below! :)  

Haha I can always count on The Office and Michael Scott for content.

Yeah... I realize it's kind of awkward that I started dating again right before Valentine's Day. Lol.

Friday, January 17, 2014

Halfway Through My Dating Detox...

--Sir William Wallace "Braveheart"

I thought I would provide an update about this for anyone who cares since it's officially been 2 weeks since I started my detox. I'm not going to go through each day, but rather the days I remember the most.

Day 3 (Weekday): I was bored, and mildly depressed because I had cut off my latest potential suitor and had one less (or more--not telling) person to talk to.  

Day 6 (Weekday): I was feeling less stressed, happy with my life and my friends/family.  I felt very accomplished and focused at work.

--Ted Danson, Zach Galifianakis, Jason Schwartzman

Day 9 (Weekend): I was slightly irritated with guys at the bar.  I realized that I didn't want any attention from them and just focused on having fun with friends.

Day 12 (Weekday): I was bored and feeling sorry for myself because I was sick.  But then my sister/roommate felt sorry for me and gave me a Klondike bar (it also helped that I made time to do the dishes).

Day 14 (Weekend): I'm writing this post right now.  Let me think about how I feel... I'm bummed out because I'm still sick (Tonsilitis, blehhcck!).  I'm just focused on feeling better so I can catch up on stuff for work.  Yes, work is my biggest concern...  Not the fact that I'm staying in on a Friday night and not that I'm not out meeting new male prospects.  There were a lot of "not"s in that sentence.  I apologize.  I'm still running a slight fever. Lol.

To sum up the past 2 weeks on a dating detox:

- I'm a lot more focused on myself, friends, family, and work.
- I've been doing some reflecting about what I want and don't want in dating by doing some soul searching, talking to friends and family, and reading old posts of mine (See 5 Dating Non-NegotiablesMeet People Outside The Bar SceneDating Truths You Can't Ignore).  

It's been a success so far.  I look forward to what else I learn about myself throughout the next 2 weeks.

This is one of my favorite artists who hasn't yet blown up.  I have a feeling she will! Check out Banks' song "Waiting Game". :)  

Sunday, December 29, 2013

Dating Detox: Necessary Measures for a "Serial Dater"

I am sick of dating.  I probably shouldn't share this with the world, but what the heck.  I need a break from dating.  I got out of a relationship in March 2013 and the past 8 or so months have included countless great dates, some god-awful dates, and a couple almost relationships (you know what I mean...hopefully).  I know it sounds weird, but I meet at least one person every time I go out or through friends.

I've dealt with egotistical, emotionally unavailable guys...clingy, almost too-perfect guys...great, balanced guys who just didn't understand me...etc.  I'm sure those guys also have some good and some, ahem, constructive things to say about me as well.  All that it inevitably boiled down to was that we were not a good match. 

I tried to remain hopeful and not affected by previous people, but it got to the point recently when I was just like "I can't do this anymore".  I need a time-out.  I want to clear my head, focus on myself, and figure out what exactly I even want.  

This is the first post of at least 2 posts on this subject.  I'm definitely going to write on this again once I'm done with my detox.  I might write another one if I feel so inclined and inspired throughout the process.  I'm going to start with 30 days off.  A couple of my best friends (and maybe even my mom) think I should give myself even more time off.  I'll do my own trial period and let you know if I decide to extend it.

If you're interested in doing a detox of your own click the above link for some tips. 

Here's my detox plan over the next 30 days:

1. No dates. If someone asks me out they will have to wait.
2. Learn how to do at least one new thing. I want to learn how to do basic sewing.
3. Spend time 3 days a week to meditate/free write for at least 15 minutes.
4. Have carefree fun.


Thursday, December 26, 2013

How To End Things When You're Casually Dating

Sex And The City Clip:  Berger breaks up with Carrie on a Post-it.

It's not easy to break things off when you've only been out on a few dates.  It's especially difficult if the person has been really genuine and has been wonderful to you every time.    

Sometimes, it's just not there.  Maybe it's an attraction thing or maybe your personalities don't mesh well. Or maybe you've been on other dates and just want to see where those go instead.  It really sucks when someone doesn't feel the same way about you. Believe me I've been on that side many times. That's why I think it's so difficult to end things.  I know how bad it can hurt and how confused you can feel.  
Did I do something wrong?  
Why doesn't he/she like me?  
Am I not good enough?

If you are a good person and a respectful person you'll be cognizant of the fact a person may feel this way after breaking it off.  

Here are some things to keep in mind when breaking it off:

-Be Direct. Tell them that you don't see it going further for _______ reason.  Sometimes I don't have a specific reason or the reason is sensitive so I will say something along the lines of "I don't have strong romantic feelings for you."

-Be Kind. This is not the time to tell them everything you dislike about them.  The only time I'll give constructive feedback is if the person asks if they could have done something differently.  Every person is different though--sometimes it's just not a good fit.  I don't want someone to change because of me.

-Be Final. Once you have broken things off make it clear that this is it.  It's not fair to assume the other person will be okay with just being friends.  Maybe they will, but you can't assume that.  Do not contact them because you're lonely, bored, need a confidence booster.  You broke it off.  Let them move on.

I've written about getting my heart broken so it was about time that I wrote about the other side.  
It's not an enjoyable experience.  
It doesn't make me feel like a better person. 

However, if I follow the above guidelines I can at least feel like I'm being respectful of the person's time and feelings.  The times guys have just casually drifted away have caused me to lose respect for them.  You never know the effect your ounce of respect will have in the future.  Maybe you'll start dating a mutual friend of the two of you or you'll end up at the same company.  You don't want to burn bridges or cause disdain because you're afraid to have an uncomfortable conversation.

On a brighter note, I hope everyone enjoyed the holidays! :)

Monday, November 4, 2013

It's Cold Season! Here Are Some of the Best and Worst Treatments!

"It's going around".  What exactly is "it"?  I don't don't know for sure, but I think people use it to describe the common cold.  Some people I work with had it last week and I got it just in time for the weekend. I don't think anyone is really "good" at being sick, but I am horrible at it.  I can only rest for so long no matter how crappy I feel because I get so bored!  

I was especially bummed this weekend because I had 2 Halloween parties that I was going to miss.  After sleeping for 10 hours straight I decided to stop by one of them in a "sick person" costume.  

I'm drinking a glass worth of Merlot from a Thermaflu bottle.  
I do not encourage people to drink cough medicine in this manner.

It was an excuse to be social and also carry around a box of tissues in my bathrobe. It also left me bedridden the rest of the weekend.  No room for me to get bored again!

So now for some of the Best and Worst Treatments...
(Please know that I am not a doctor, nurse, or any other type of medical professional).

Best Treatments  (Can be summed up with this acronym below)

REST: Relax, Eat, Sleep, Treat
(Totally just made that up, but I like it and am kind of proud of myself.)

RELAX- Keep as calm as possible--Stress will only weaken your Immune system. 

EAT- I use this as my excuse to eat Ice Cream, Popsicles, and Chicken Noodle Soup (hydration).  Also, pair your food with lots of water! 

SLEEP- Even if you need to take some Nyquil to knock you out (responsibly).  This sort of helps you with all of the mouth breathing.

TREAT- Without my Mucinex D or Sudafed I am a big baby.  Also treat your nose by blowing it.  Cough drops can also be pretty soothing.

Worst Treatments (Again, see acronym below)

DIVE: Drink, Ignite, Vacuum, Eat
(I have no idea where this came from.  I came up with that first clever acronym and just decided this needed one as well.)

DRINK- This is referring to booze not water (drink lots of water).  Alcohol might help you forget about your symptoms for a short period of time, but then you'll wake up feeling even worse!

Ignite- "Only you can prevent forest fires."  Stay away from any kind of smoke.  It's already hard enough to breathe with that stuffy nose!

Vacuum- You're sick!  Someone else should be doing the cleaning.  Get back in bed!  Oh, you live alone?  Just don't invite anyone over.  No one wants your germs anyway.

Eat- This is a repeat because girrrl (or boyyy) you are sick and sedentary.  You don't need to be shoving down all of that food.  Shove down water with a side of food. Lol. 

That's the best advice I have!  I went to brunch on Sunday and ordered tea with honey because I heard that's good for colds.  Unfortunately, I hate tea so I only took one sip.  I do feel slightly better today.  Maybe give it a try...just in case. ;)

I apologize if anyone gets a cold from me.  Sharing is caring!