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Tuesday, May 17, 2011

The Five Love Languages (We don't all speak the same one!)

Author and counselor, Gary Chapman found that people feel loved and express love in different ways.  Most of us have 1-2 primary "love languages".  

The Five Love Languages include: Quality Time, Physical Touch, Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, and Receiving Gifts.

I took the assessment and was actually somewhat surprised to have gotten "Quality Time" as my primary Love Language.  It does explain a lot about why my most recent relationship failed (ouch).

Quality Time
"In Quality Time, nothing says “I love you” like full, undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there—with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby—makes you feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed activities, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful."

My second highest scored one was "Physical Touch" which I was not at all surprised by.  I love hugs and signs of affection.  

Physical Touch
"This language isn’t all about the bedroom. A person whose primary language is Physical Touch is, not surprisingly, very touchy. Hugs, pats on the back, holding hands, and thoughtful touches on the arm, shoulder, or face—they can all be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love. Physical presence and accessibility are crucial, while neglect or abuse can be unforgivable and destructive."
Receiving Gifts

Gary Chapman explains in the book "The Five Love Languages: Singles Edition", that you can learn what your significant other's love language is and then apply what you learn about the languages to make them feel even more loved.  They can in turn, then do the same for you.  I highly recommend this book to anyone who is single, dating,  or in a relationship.  

(Thank you Courtney for letting me borrow the book.) 
The Five Love Languages Singles Edition

There's even a study guide --> Love Languages Study Guide

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