"No Lime" Search Engine

Custom Search

Friday, January 27, 2012

Douchepickers Disease Awareness "For the Cure"


I've dated some nice guys and some a-holes.  More often than not, I'm attracted to douchebags.  This is because I have been self-diagnosed with Douchepicker's Disease (DPD).  This disease affects women of all ages, occupations, and personalities.  Smart, confident, and independent women even suffer from it.  Though there is treatment for the disease (ie: Quit Dating, Therapy, Switching Teams), there is not yet a cure.  I would like to raise awareness in order to empower those women suffering from DPD.  I would also like to use this awareness to raise money for a cure.  As a treated, but not cured, sufferer of this disease myself, I feel like I can be a great advocate.  Join me in finding the cure and raising awareness.  "DPD IS NOT FOR ME!"   



Not all DB is created equal.  See above for the different levels.  Fortunately these days I tend to go for the levels 3-5, but I still have much room for improvement.  You can do it!

I won't say who said this just in case they would get embarrassed, but a male said to me the other day: "It's not about who you pick.  All guys are douchebags.  You just have to find one that you can tolerate their douchebagginess." --Insightful, but I hope it's not true.


Maybe we can order these in bulk to sell and raise money and fight this horrific disease.



                
                        I'm going to start giving these babies out to all the DBs I meet.
Click on the picture to make it bigger.  


**This disease has been created by the blogger and is not in the DSM IV or any medical book.  If you try to WebMD it or ask your therapist about it they will probably have no idea what you're talking about. 

Monday, January 23, 2012

If you liked the Boyfriend Application...You'll love this Formal Apology Note

Click on the photo to enlarge it.

I thought this would be helpful for some of you who aren't great at apologizing.  Hopefully I won't have to use this baby myself for a while.  I didn't create this note although I wish I could claim that I did.


It's too late to apologiiize.  It's too laaaaate.  :-P


This made me actually laugh out loud.

Friday, January 20, 2012

My Little Sis is going on a mission trip to Guatemala with Habitat for Humanity!


My little sis is going to Guatemala over spring break for a mission trip with Habitat for the Humanity. She's a college student and I find it very admirable that she is going to be spending her time off helping people and not partying in Cancun like many college students will be doing. Check out the link above if you'd like to donate to the trip. I know my sis would really appreciate it and I know the people of Guatemala will appreciate the things she does for them there.


Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Humpday Funny: Three Easy Payments by Mitch Hedberg

Mitch Hedberg's bits always crack me up.  His delivery is phenomenal.  



May he RIP...


Saturday, January 7, 2012

It's Friday night and chances are a lot of you are out at the Bar...Some Drinking Funnies



I decided to stay in tonight because I'm not feeling well and am uber tired from the work week.  I thought I'd add some drinking funnies for you to look at when you're hungover tomorrow. ;)


Click on the picture to read it better.  
You might have to click the zoom button on your browser.


Try not to embarrass yourself too much.


Don't drink and drive!  I always take a cab if I'm planning on drinking.  

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Doomsday is not this year (2012) as predicted.



On Dec. 21, 2012, many doomsday believers fear the apocalypse — anything from a rogue planet smashing into us to our world spinning end over end. However, the world should expect nothing more next year than the winter solstice, the longest night of the year, NASA says
. --
from MSNBC.com

I've got an idea!  Instead of coming up with (or believing in) days we're all going to die how about everyone just lives every day to the fullest.  (Well, I guess that's hard if you're sick or impoverished.)

Okay, I have a more realistic idea.  End of the world predicting crazies:  Stop freaking people out and use the time you spend predicting the end of the world to volunteer or assist in a good cause.  That's all and thank you in advance for no longer inducing panic.